Embrace Justice: How to Visit a Nursing Home

It seems easy enough, doesn't it?
It's one of the first things you think about when you think about serving your community.
The 'Old' Folks home, the elderly, the nursing homes....
"We'll go there! Yeah, that's what we'll do."

And that's the end of the good idea.
Or, you call and no one calls you back.
Or you do it and it's a bust.

It really is as simple as it seems like it should be! I promise!

Here are a few tips:

#1 Have something to show off.

Consider doing a recital there (dance, piano, poetry, theatre...any art). Have a plan. Practice what you'll 'recite' and put as much excellence into it as you can. Not perfection, excellence.

One time I went, without kids, and painted the fingernails of any woman who would let me.
You may have another 'skill' and it would count as a 'thing to show off'.

#2 Pick a holiday.

You do not have to have something to show off. Pick the nearest holiday and make that your reason for visiting. If this is your reason for going, see #3.

#3 Have something to give/handout.

You don't have to have a holiday or something to recite!

Are you going with kids? Have a craft date a few days before the visit. If it's near a holiday, do some homemade cards for that holiday - these can be intricate, they can be done by 2 year olds, they can be store bought and you can write messages in them...it doesn't matter. Excellence matters but not the level of artistry or expertise. If it's not near a holiday, go with the season and make encouraging cards/papers/crafts that go with the current season.

Are you going without kids? Same thing, have some cards or poems printed or written out to hand out as an encouragement. Nursing homes can be full of pain, regret, sadness, hopelessness, etc....bring joy with the words you bring.
Flowers or small tokens (such as pins or stickers) are fun too!

#4 How to get a hold of a nursing home.

I'll assume that everyone knows how to find the nearest nursing home to them so we'll skip that part. (uh hem...'Google'...I guess we didn't really skip it!?)

a. Find the nursing home.
b. Figure out your reason for going (#1-#3...pick one or more and just go with it)
c. Call the # listed in Google and ask for: THE ACTIVITIES DIRECTOR.
You will probably get a voicemail...leave a message.
d. Do this about 4 more times. (I'm kidding, but only kind of. You will most likely have to call and leave a message several times. It seems annoying and daunting but really, it's just a phone call, you can do it!)
e. When you do connect (don't give up! or if you're frustrated, try a few nursing homes at a time and whoever you get a hold of first, wins!) this is what you tell them:

Name.
What you want to do. (be specific but be willing to let them say what would work best and just go with it!)
When, approximately, you'd like to do it. (try to give two different days)
and they'll take it from there...promise.

#5 Actually going there.

You have your 'mission', you have your day/time, you have your people together...it's the DAY!

a. Get there on time but know that they may not be.
b. The receptionist is typically clueless about why you're there - just tell her why you're there and that you have it scheduled with the Activities Director. (really, several nursing homes later, I have yet to run into a receptionist that was 'aware' of my coming..again, just go with it.)
c. Do your thing, I promise there will be some odd moments but it will be neat.
d. If you are a Jesus follower, offer to pray with people...it's better than any card or gift.
e. If the Activities Director says that you can just roam the halls and pass out cards (they probably will), have an adult (assuming there are kids with you), scan each room before you send the kids in.
The dignity in nursing homes isn't what it should be. They are very open and not very private (sad). You can literally walk in most rooms unannounced and 'interrupt' someone from what they're doing.
I typically peek my head around the corner of their door, knock and as permission to come in first. Even that seems invasive but it's how they operate in most nursing homes.
f. Touch base with the Activities Director before you go. Tell her you appreciate what she does and would love to come back!

#6 Other notes:

Sorry for all the 'probably' - there is no way to definitively write this because each nursing home has a different staff. They are typically structured the same way but they don't all operate the same way. It will take some learning of your local home, but these tips will get you started and going.

Not all nursing homes are the same. I know that sounds redundant but actually I mean, for this point, that there is a difference between assisted living and nursing home.
If you have some apprehension about being around a lot of sickness and hurt then starting at an assisted living would be a better choice. Follow all the same guidelines, except try and go during a meal time and pass out crafts/encouragement while they eat. Otherwise most people will be in their apartments and seemingly unapproachable - if you've scheduled a recital, then pass out the cards/crafts afterwards.
Nursing homes are great to go to, don't get me wrong! There are people who need a happy face in both places.

#7 Going back.

Did one or two or three of the residents stand out to you?
Tell the Activities Director that the next time you call and see if you could come by with another special card just for those 1-3 residents.
Keep going back (once a week, once a month, once every other month, there's no formula) and watch the friendships change YOUR life.

Craft Time: